Modern Life is Rubbish

Steve has this friend Frank who once said, “When they make the Frank action figure, it will come with a carton of chocolate Silk in its hand.” This was to illustrate his love for chocolate Silk (soymilk for those wondering what the fuck I’m talking about). I’ve been inspired by Frank, and hereby proclaim that when they make the Lord Cru action figure, it will come with a half-gallon (to scale, of course) of VERY VANILLA silk. I really, really, REALLY like vanilla flavored stuff, and this one is out of this world.

Now I know you’re probably thinking…”Sure Lord Cru, of course your cracker ass loves vanilla!” Perhaps this is an appropriate response, I would encourage it even…but there’s something about that vanilla good-ness that really lifts the icy gaze of old man winter and makes me want to dance with a midget (little person).