The Sorrows of Young Werther

So, a few days ago I heard about how some random kid won the [link=,23271,1103598,00.html]Koston Game Of Skate[/link] contest, beating Koston S-K-A-T-E to nothing in the process. Needless to say I was excited to see what the victor was capable of, and I anxiously awaited Transworld coming through on their promise of posting footage of the event on their site. After a two day wait, I loaded the video and my excitement was quickly converted to disgust. The winner (the kid dressed in 1/4 of an Ewok costume ), Jim Bates, has the absolute worst 1992/1993 pivot/powerslide Ron Knigge style that I have seen in years. At one point he “does” a “cabalarial flip” in which he does a half cab kickflip, lands with ALL FOUR WHEELS DOWN, then powerslides a 180 through the rest of the trick. That’s like doing a normal backside 180, landing with all your wheels down, powersliding another 180 degrees while in complete contact with the ground and then claiming it to be a proper backside 360.

Ewok’s atrocious style is especially evident during the final sequence in which there is a Ewok and Jimmy Carlin final showdown. The juxtaposition of Jimmy Carlin’s well popped, properly executed tricks and Ewok’s cheap, sliding pivotry is enough to salt anyone’s snail. After the first instance of this horrendous methodology the Ewok should have been disqualified, but instead he collects $15,000. I propose that Ewok’s check and status as winner be revoked, and that Bill and Ted fire up their time traveling phone booth and take this kid back to the early 90’s and leave him where he belongs.