Tauntaun Club – Genius of Hoth (aka Wampa of Love)

Tim and I were talking about this last night and I hereby propose that 1985 may quite possibly be the greatest year ever in the history of cinema. Let’s take a quick look at some note able releases:

1985: A Horny Year in Cinema
Back to the Future – Although this is a little too well polished and non exploitative compared to my normal tastes, it’s still a great movie. I guess I can appreciate the fact that Marty was a little horny for his own mom.
Better Off Dead – When I was young we had this movie on Beta. It was basically the coolest thing ever to me since my older brother and sisters loved it. Skiing and swearing and nonsense? It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how dark the humor in this movie really is. Constant wacky suicide attempts. Also featuring Curtis Armstrong (Booger).
The Breakfast Club – Some mandatory John Hughes teenage schmaltz. Which I of course absolutely love. Second best/memorable ending scene of 1985.
Brewster’s Millions – A channel 18 Super Station classic. I remember fantasizing about how I could spend the money when I was young. The plot being of course, that Brewster has to spend 30 million dollars in one month and have no assets in the end. If he pulled that off he got an additional 300 million.
Commando – Action film classic. Sensitive, yet extremely raged filled Arnold kills at least 1,000 dudes. Loves his daughter much.
Explorers – Another Channel 18 classic. River Pheonix as a huge nerd. Builds a spaceship out of a Tilt-a-whirl. Then it gets kind of stupid and weird.
Fletch – Chevy Chase was still super coked up and hilarious in this era. I remember sneaking into the drive in theater multiple times in the trunk of my sisters car and seeing the sequel to this.
Fraternity Vacation – I hadn’t seen this until like…last week. And I fell asleep before I made it to the end. It still made the list. Horny teenage sexploitation.
The Goonies – If this needs to be explained to you, you’re already a lost cause. Fuel for my interest in exploring abandoned buildings and whatnot. Feldman’s steez in this is still impeccable to this day.
Gymkata – Made the list for the sole fact that a clip from this is in Beez 2.
Hot Moves – This movie sucks so bad, but it’s hilarious at the same time. Tons of wailing rollerskating/skateboarding montages thrown in for no reason. Amazing theme song. Plethora of 80’s tits.
Just One of the Guys – Girl pretends to be boy, boobs ensue.
Krush Groove – 80’s hip hop/break dance movies are great to watch in a group setting where you’re not paying too much attention. Watch them solo and you realize they’re the most boring thing ever.
Loose Screws – I’ve never seen this but: “Brad, Steve, Hue, and Marvin are four get-nowhere boys who are forced into summer school, ending up at Cockswell Academy under the supervision of Principal Arsenault. The boys play a game where they earn points for every girl with which they score.” clearly it must be amazing. Cockswell Academy!
Mad Max – Beyond Thunderdome – A post apocalyptic movie with Tina Turner as the main villain, a midget that rides on a retarded guy’s back, and Mel. How could you go wrong?
National Lampoon’s European Vacation I actually kind of hate this movie, but it’s the sequel to my favorite movie of all time so I must give it some credit. Memorable in the fact that it has the ugliest Audrey of any of the Vacation movies…by a huge margin.
Pee-wee’s Big Adventure – This is one movie on this list that I haven’t actually seen in a really long time. I remember loving it though. Can’t go wrong with someone who beats off in public, at least.
Private Resort – An almost unwatchable sexploitation movie featuring what would now be viewed as borderline rape but then was seen as wacky and funny. Starring Johnny Depp. How did this make a list of “good” movies? I don’t know, it’s just the kind of movie I like to watch though.
Rambo: First Blood Part II – Rambo is still mad. Troutman calms him down. The end.
Real Genius – The king of 1985. My favorite movie when I was young. Still one of my favorites to this day. In my opinion the best and most memorable movie ending of all time. See: Beez 2.
Red Sonja – Brigette before Flavor Flav. You know, before she turned into some sort of weird beast. This is basically another Conan movie and totally rages.
St. Elmo’s Fire – John Hughes teenage schmaltz without the teenage or John Hughes. Pretty much all the same people though. So romantic and cheesy, which means awesome.
Summer Rental – Another movie on the list that I haven’t seen in forever. All I remember is that John Candy is in it, and all kind of bad things happen to him ala Vacation. Also used to be on Channel 18 all the time.
The Sure Thing – John Cussack sure is romantic.
Teen Wolf – Another Micheal J one which is a little more family friendly. Although I suppose style’s fashion choices might have made a mom or two mad. Filled with awesome quotes and dangerous ideas.
Vision Quest – A going for it, underdog, inspirational movie about…high school wrestling! Stupid premise, but there’s some great quotes and a great soundtrack. Gets Gabe super pumped. Features Madonna for no reason whatsoever.

From the set of Beez 3. Coming soon to a burned DVD near you.

How about Mr. Twister updating the site from the road?? I hope he keeps it up. It makes wiskate.com look so much more technologically advanced somehow. Anyway, good luck to all of our friends that are skating in that contest up there in Minneapolis. Give our Platinum Seagulls friends some high fives for me while you’re at it.

Some good updates on mkeskate.com lately, by the way. Lots of photos. Just the way I like it.

That’s it.