As I was leaving work today all of the tornado sirens were going off. I wasn’t too concerned though, I leisurely drove over to the thrift store and picked up “Drop Dead Fred” (perfection of femininity: Phoebe Cates) and “Ski School 2” on VHS. I then went over to the grocery store and picked up a 25lb sack of cat litter for Gary’s poopies. Upon arriving home I loaded up Platinum Seagulls on the ‘ol internet box and saw that ‘ol Mike Munz was implying that having a motorcycle with a dog in the side car is possibly not the best thing ever. Now, Mike is usually quite on his game, but he couldn’t be more off on this instance. For shame.

I’m sorry Munz, but get out of my dreams and into my (side)car. This is a longtime goal of mine that you’re bad mouthing and that makes me real sad. Real talk. If I had the cash, possibly won from a scratch off lottery ticket, I would be at this very moment riding in an Italian scooter with my gorgeous canine in the side car.

Perhaps I shouldn’t mention that it’s 81 beautiful degrees outside, it’s Friday, I have beer, I have a skateboard, and I just spent way too much time poorly photoshopping Gary and Molly onto a Vespa. To mention that would just be uncouth. Did someone mention bad photoshopping? You may remember this one:

Truthfully, I don’t think it was nearly 80 degrees in the case of Space Time Polish Gary/Cru. The skillfulness of the photoshopping is almost as bad though. Did I ever mention that I do product photography and make clipping paths every day at my job? Did I ever mention how shitty it is making a clipping path for a furry creature so I just do it really shitty instead? Don’t mention how many times the word shitty is in this paragraph.

Anyway, I’m excited for the shred tomorrow. We’ve been having some really solid weekends regarding the skateboarding riding. In fact, I have several tapes of really good footage that I should be logging but I’m instead poorly superimposing my dog onto a scooter in response to internet blog posts made from another state. This is the world we live in. The world of the information super highway and immediate communication with characters anywhere on this life raft floating in outer space that some of us call Earth. That was the most embarrassing sentence I’ve written in at least three months.

I’m still doing Morrissey Mondays every Monday at the Cactus Club. Good buddy Sean Drews mentioned that he “almost” came last week. Let’s see less of that “almost” and more of that “yes I’ll be there and it’ll be the best ever, friend” than we’ve been seeing lately. 10pm. Every Monday. I play a game of “How long can I not play Morrissey ’til Sarah yells at me” every week. It’s fun. Join the fun. Although, it’s not really a yell. More of a friendly prodding. Because you see, she loves Morrissey. It’s understandable. If Pizzy doesn’t show up one of these weeks I’m going to kill myself.