the pot roast is in the litter box and the cat is in the oven…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM KIEDROWSKI.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM KIEDROWSKI.
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Over at Skate Mental, they posted a video that, for some reason, I can’t link you to. You should go check it out though, because it teaches you a valuable lesson; if your mom or dad won’t let you build a ramp in your backyard, wage an extremely costly and pointless war. When you achieve “mission accomplished”, go ahead and build the ramp on their roof. It’s as easy as that.
If rooftop ramps aren’t your thing, you can try your hand at miniature clay fruit sculpting. How is it that the Japanese are so far ahead in the world of technology , but yet they seem to also lead the world in the realm of pointless crap?
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Since yesterday’s all day news fiasco, I have recieved multiple emails and messages from you guys saying that you enjoyed the hourly posts. Well, with that, I have decided to make it a once a week event (depending on what day I have off of work). I have only one request to ask of you, the reader. Help me out. Email me ideas of what you would like to read about or what I should cover in my rants. It’s not easy coming up with crap to cover 7 hours worth of posts.
I also got a email from Sam over at DWT, mentioning a possible triumvirate get-together at one of the midwest area indoor skateparks. Imagine the power that could be harnessed! Perhaps we could plan an event and invite the Iowisconsota fans to attend. Let’s get on that. Sounds like a good time to me.
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Brian over at Northern just put up this trailer for the new video “Chunky” which will be premiering on Friday at the bar Three. Check Northern Athletik for more details (or you can just scroll down).
Make sure to go.
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4 PM. (3:30. I have to get off this damn computer)
Well, it was fun. Alot has happened since 9 am. We laughed, complained, made new friends and even had some tender moments. We learned that Grimace isn’t as simple as he seems and that MP3’s are over. We also found out that kids like the message board a little too much and don’t like the site.
I couldn’t have done it with out the help of a few people. First off I would like to thank God. Without his guidance I would never have gotten out of bed today. Thanks, G. Second, I have to give props to my manager and friend Josh Ellis. His inspiration and motivation kept me in the game for the last 6 hours. Good lookin’ out, kid. I would also like to give thanks to the kid that whined about the site. Without him, I would have had to think of someone to make fun of on my own. And last but not least, thanks go out to John McGuire. He added the icing to make this cake a winner.
And finally, thanks to everyone that read along with the updates. Without you guys we would be nothing more than meaningless shit.
Until next time.
Love you guys!
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3 PM.
John McGuire co-stars in this edition of my hourly post……..
Catch phrases – so hot right now, mugatoo. You knew that was coming. Well anyway, catchphrases are all the rage right now if you haven’t noticed. D. Trump with “You’re fired”. Paris Hilton and “That’s hot”. Arnold Swartzenegger mumbling “I’ll be back”. Jerry McGuire has “Show me the money”. Master P – “Make ’em say UHHHHH”. “Where’s the beef”, “Let’s get ready to rumble”, “Charlie Murphy’s cookin’ Johnsonville brats” – you get the idea.
Well, if you don’t have a catchphrase, you’re about as useful as a barnacle on a whale’s beanbag. I haven’t really decided what mine is yet, but I’m fairly confident that it’s going to super “cutting edge”, “totally great”, “donkey waffles” or “velveeta melts better than cheddar”. Anyway, I’ve got little time to think of a really great one so I though we’d make a Wiskate challenge.
Email your ideas for a catch phrase to Tim. The winner will win a hybrid Toyota Prius, a signed Balki Bartokamous 8×10 glossy and a trip for two to beautiful Lake Titticaca. Oh, and a signed Jamie Thomas deck.
Seacrest out.
Thanks, John.
Well there you have it. Think of a good one and mail it to me. I am not sure about the Toyota or the trip, but maybe the Jamie Thomas deck and the 8×10 glossy from Perfect Strangers could be yours.
One more post to go! Who said it couldn’t be done?
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2 PM.
Things are looking up for us. I just got off the phone with John McGuire at the Zero headquarters in California, and he is going to make a guest appearance in today’s updates. That will take some of the creative heat off of me.
Speaking of creative heat, whoever made this gem has the right idea. Hot.
Mike over at Tha’ Plat, is now posting from the Congo. Not the spot you get kicked out of downtown, but the real, live tropical Congo. At least that’s what you’re supposed to believe. The picture is pretty convincing. I like his monkey.
Only 2 more posts to go, and this one is coming in early! I think I should be considered for a promotion, right Josh?
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So I had just gotten decent grades and my parents decided to take me out to dinner at TGI Fridays. I loved the shit out of that place man, cheese sticks and a third pound burger and I was good to go. We ate, laughed, had a gay old time. When we were leaving I stood outside the mini-van to let a out a little fart and OOOPS! Sharted…
I didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t want to tell my parents; twelve year olds don’t shit their pants! So I kept it a secret until “[Little Lord Crue], we’re going to go get you a new bed!” I was fucked..here I was, shitty pants and all, and now I had to go look at beds…
We went into the store, looked around and my parents made me sit on like 2,965 beds. “Sit on this one, is it soft?” Yeah it’s soft, and now it’s even softer!!! Fuck..they were the best of times, they were the worst of times.
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1 PM.
Does McDonald’s still have all those lovable characters they used to? Mayor McCheese? Birdy? FryGuys? Hamburglar? My favorite was always Grimace. What was he? It has been speculated that Grimace is a single cell organism. Is he furry? How does he reproduce? Mitosis? Most importantly, how does he dispose of waste matter? Josh theorized that he shits like a rabbit. Constant shitting that results in piles upon piles of waste. On the way to Louisville, I drew what I thought an average amount of poo Grimace would yield in a 10 minute time span;
What do single cell organisms eat? Obviously not Quarter Pounder with Cheese. If I were a single cell organism, I would eat a number 7 (with BBQ sauce).
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12 PM.
So this kid left a message on the message board I created (and destroyed) that went like this;
“Why did Josh get rid of the message boards, really? Those boards have probably been the only thing keeping the site going for years now. Good idea trying to update every hour, but no way are you gonna change the quality of the site. It sucks even more without the boards. I’m not saying that bringing them back would make the site better, but at least there would be a point(sort of) to go to it. Every update on the main page is purely meaningless shit. Other than the rare occasion when there will be an announcement of a video release or premiere, the updates have no substance. We could care less how much a bunch of nerdy fags you guys are, lets see some skating.
Josh had a good idea with letting people submit clips of themselves and their friends. Let’s see more of that kind of stuff. I hate it when I see clips of people who are only on there because they are personal friends of Josh. The site is too humping cliquish.
And the “Moblog”…what the fuck is that retarded idea all about? Some of the photos are interesting and funny, but 90% of it is shit.”
You’re right kid. I could just sit here and give you the old “if you don’t like it, go start your own”, but I’m not going to. I will say this, Wiskate is free. Josh never asked for any money or membership fee to look. He spent time putting up clips of people he likes that he spent time filming. Skateboarding is boring. We could sit here and tell you about who did what trick where and how long the rail was, but it’s just fucking boring. If you want up to the minute news on what belt buckle Bam is wearing right now, go to MTV.com. My point is; we do what we do. You may not like it, but someday you’ll realize everything isn’t about you and your needs.
And for you guys out there who don’t mind what we do here at Wiskate, I offer you this. Thanks for understanding, guys.